So, I like to re-watch things. Actually, I love to rewatch things. This is something that usually sort of shocks people when I share it because, while some people like to rewatch things, I take to another level. To put it bluntly, I honestly have no idea how many times I’ve seen entire series like Parks & Rec, New Girl, Firefly, etc. But it’s probably well over 100 each. But I’m not embarrassed by that. Not even in the slightest. For a long time, I never knew exactly why I did this; however, I recently came across this Scientific American article which is pretty much how I feel about it.
In short, I’d rather have more of something familiar, comforting, and enjoyable than experience something new that could potentially make me feel worse. I’ve said it before, but I’m not exactly in the best spot in life. Things are tough and my experiences have made me somewhat afraid to try new things.
But let’s press pause on that (See what I did there? Because I’m talking about shows? Eh?). I don’t want to view, nor do I want you to view this, as a sad thing. I really do find myself learning more and more with each repeat of engaging films like Mad Max or Serenity or any of the countless movies I find myself going back to over and over. I learn more about myself. I am, as is remarked in the article linked above, very forward-looking and prospective. No matter what happens, I’m always looking ahead. But that certainly does not mean I can’t come across the same problems more than once. As Greek philosopher Heraclitus said “You never cross the same river twice—it’s not the same river, and it’s not the same you.” (Also taken from the same article.) But hey, that’s just one rather short article. Here’s another article from The Atlantic.
I fall into many of the categories listed in this article. I even listen to songs on repeat. For a long time, I thought it was sort of weird that I had this insatiable urge to do so. The only band I listened to in high school was Muse and now I can’t bring myself to listen to even one of their songs. And I’d like to think that my tastes have just changed but it really might be that I just don’t want to revisit my high school self. And now I could listen to anything by the Last Dinosaurs all day, every day.
But it’s not as if I don’t open myself up to new experiences. I like to try new things, but I’m usually pretty hesitant. The way I unfortunately see things, anything new has the potential to hurt, but more of the same offers a bit more safety. If I’m being completely honest, I usually only try new things on a recommendation of someone whose opinion I trust. I never really realized it before I started writing this but I guess that’s because I’m trying to avoid pain. Or maybe it’s just because I’d prefer to remain in absolute comfort.