It’s been a weird week. Weird doesn’t even begin to describe it actually. I found a new side of myself that I didn’t know existed. In a way, it left me kinda dumbfounded. And I basically surrendered to a new set of ideals for the whole week completely unintentionally. I realize I’m being overly cryptic but the weirdness isn’t the point of this post, it’s what I learned from it.
From my own internal conflict, I found myself in my protag’s shoes, or rather a very similar situation. Watching two sides of myself at odds with each other when it’s obvious there can be no winner and no loser. The two sides are one and the same in the end. And yet there has to be a winner and there has to be a loser. The two can’t live together realistically. Thus, there rages a war inside. A war with no end in sight and a war that will likely start up again even if a victor has been decided.
What I’m getting at here is that I’d hit a road block about two weeks ago. Didn’t know where to go or what to think in the novel. But after last week and realizing I don’t even know what I want personally, it hit me that I don’t need to know what my protag wants either necessarily. It’s a complex time for both of us so why sit around and ponder answers that won’t come without action? It may be a war with myself but it needs to be fought. And I feel like I owe it to my protag to help her fight hers because no one else will.