I’m finding out the hard way that it’s difficult to draw the line between my life and the life of this ownvoices character I’m trying to write. On one hand, it’s very easy to draw on past experiences and my own flaws because, if I’m being honest, it makes for some good character development and conflict. But on the other hand, super vulnerable situation to put myself in and it feels like cheating in a way.
So of course, my mental inhibitor for literally anything that can potentially negatively affect my mental health is like “Sloooow down Mack, you ain’t got time for that.” But of course I have time for it. It’s just, I have one foot on the brakes, holding myself back because of a combined lack of self-confidence and… Yeah, that’s actually just about it. If I’m being totally honest, the feedback, or lack thereof, from my agent search didn’t leave me feeling great. Disappointed but not entirely discouraged. Just a little reluctant to try again.
Basically, I guess I just lost hold of my writing groove somewhere in the mix but I’m getting it back very gradually. After all the first page/first line anxiety from RevPit and querying, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by my apprehension derived from the idea of sitting down to write a brand new set of first pages. But I’m gonna get there again. Maybe a few poems in between, who knows.
But don’t worry. I gotchu on the underground indie tunes. We’re talking triple digit views on YouTube and I’ll still find it and jam out. Enjoy!